Mall Crawling Racer...... #4410

[REDLYNER]

I have reached out to two time KOH competitor Will Carter at RightSide Performance to help out with some of the final pieces of my build. This was an important strategic move because associating myself with an actual racer and fabricator gives me an immediate boost in mall crawler street cred.

Will has been awesome, I gave him very specific instructions on how I wanted this done and the build is going perfectly:


REDLYNER Racing drops off rig at RightSide Performance - YouTube





Nordstrom Certified:

 

[ncsutj]

Nice. What are you doing with the old cage?

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[REDLYNER]

Nice. What are you doing with the old cage?

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Selling it. Interested in a local pickup? It's out of the jeep.

 

[DSM Turbos]

How much for the old cage. I have family at lake Norman I will be coming to see soon. Pm me

 

[foreman1063]

The video is hilarious, about choked on my beer watching it.

 

[BShore]

Don't forget that if you really want to have all the soccer moms dripping, you need to put your radiator in the back!

 

[ncsutj]

Selling it. Interested in a local pickup? It's out of the jeep.

PM me a price

Sent from my Desire HD using Tapatalk 2

 

[REDLYNER]

Don't forget that if you really want to have all the soccer moms dripping, you need to put your radiator in the back!

Hmmmm..... Good point, however, there are some upgrades yet to be posted that may make up for that.



Regarding my cage, I PMed you guys the info on its build and a price. Just let me know!

 

[REDLYNER]

Thought this was pretty funny-

Text messages from my wife yesterday, she is in Blue, I am in White. The John she is referring to is the editor of CRAWL magazine.

 

[khwrx]

lol good wife , better go ahead and get it .

 

[REDLYNER]

Huge decision to be made......




I think I have narrowed it down to these select four pairs of sunglasses. As most of you are aware, it is strict mall crawler code to always be seen in white shades. I remember back in '07 when I tried to buck the trend and went with some Brad Pitt leopard tinted shields.... I thought my crew was going to beat me to death with my own Dolce and Gabbana belt.
I'll never make that mistake again.

Will @ RightSide Performance has been meticulously implementing my requests into the build. I said "Will, I need a kickass spiderweb looking thing in the middle of the cage. Not only does it appear racer like, but it's really the only logical way to fit two fist fulls of Pacific Sunwear bags in the back."

Now this is where it gets very important....

Everyone knows you are only legit if you have a curvy bumper/tire carrier mounted off the back. This is not debatable, if you don't have one, you might as well be showing up to the party wearing American Eagle (I know, right? Who even does that?). I gave Will the same analogy and he was just so nice about it. However, I think he needs a new cell service because his phone hangs up on me a lot. Either way, his skills continue to impress:

 

[JK_Byron]

Nice... I bet the other jeeps in the mall parking lot are envious. Any thoughts on a stroker kit? Every TJ mall crawler should have one.

 

[dkrajcovic]

funny video !!!!!!!!!
& nice build

 

[Mulishajoe]

Love the new cage and fenders. I think you should go with the white shades.lol

 

[REDLYNER]

Nice... I bet the other jeeps in the mall parking lot are envious. Any thoughts on a stroker kit? Every TJ mall crawler should have one.

I have had thoughts of a stroker kit, but if the stars align, we will have a slightly more powerful option going in. But that is a post KOH problem/project that will come down the road.



I'm going to have to go all out if I want to be competitive this year...... Mall crawlers keep a running count on how many teenagers take cell phone pictures of their rigs and after I nearly podiumed last year, I'm all in to win the championship this time around. So I was talking with Blaine, Thad, and Gavin about how I can get an advantage and Thad was like "Brah.... you got the up close "look at me's" wrapped up, but you need to figure out how to draw more attention from a distance".

Thad couldn't have spoken truer words. So I reached out to Ruffstuff for the perfect solution: nothing says look at me from a distance like an LED aluminum lightbar.

Fuel system just about finished up. Those speed holes are so fast, I literally had to switch to a level 4 ultra hold hair gel to keep my Jersey Shore hair cut in place.

 

[criket]

Awesome rig! You should do a youtube mini-series videos of this with all the hilarious dialogue.

 

[JK_Byron]

Well I'm rooting for you... I saw you race at the flats and I think you, Blown JK and Adam Mackie put on a good show.

 

[BRUISER]

I hope you paint the new cage white..

 

[REDLYNER]

Well I'm rooting for you... I saw you race at the flats and I think you, Blown JK and Adam Mackie put on a good show.

Thank you! We are trying to put together a jeep that can be pushed pretty hard in the desert.

I hope you paint the new cage white..

I'm ordering 12 cans of Stone White paint today, it's going to take a full weekend to get it primed and painted. Bleh.

 

[REDLYNER]

Nothing like waiting to the last minute for making major changes...... and major changes are being made .


Will keeps grinding away, lightbar mounted!

 

[jyaks]

Reverse facing lightbar for the tailgating soccer moms huh? This build is sweet and the commentary is even better

 

[REDLYNER]

Can't do it. I tried, we were competitive in traffic, but once we got out into the open areas, we were lost. Everything looked the same......

All we had to go on was our map:

RM 7: Hard left around Kohls. Easy, running doors... just follow the strobe lights.

RM19: Traffic starting to spread out by Mr Pretzel... still running at speed into the dust cloud.

RM32: Lost. Pretty sure I should have banked right at Coach... or was it Zales? Damnit....

RM27: OK, that is the second time I've seen Build-a-Bear... this paper map SUCKS.

RM45: Approaching Food Court... late. Nearly last to Sbarro, embarrasing. Something needs to be done.




So we reached out to Rugged Radios for a solution:

 

[REDLYNER]

Sometimes.... you just can't make this stuff up- Our driveway Christmas morning:

When I find myself having to make a difficult decision, I just say, what would Mike "The Situation" do????

He'd go "fist pump blue".

Something this build thread is missing are pictures of parts with stickers beside them. This is a huge way of saying "hey! Look at me, I just bought parts from this company." Since Mall Crawlers are not original, and tend to just copy people who they think are much cooler than them, I reached out to a top tier vendor in Clayton Offroad to send me a whole box of stickers. They went above and beyond to get them to me in no time flat. Their service was unmatched, not only did they lend their expertise on what size bumper sticker to run, but they also pointed out the flaws in my radius setup and thought their Pro 3 link kit would be a huge step up. So that arrived in the sticker box as well .

 

[JK_Byron]

Sweet! They make some nice stuff....

 

[91oneton]

I think with some of these hard core modifications you will be losing some cred. with the O.G. mall crawlers. Its time for some mall crawling accesories like ... body kit, train horns and some dubs.